Tuesday, July 12, 2011

More on this past year...But mostly just about my Grams

Well, after eating every thing in my American sight, I certainly put back on any weight I lost plus some. I'm at an all time high of just over 150 L-Bs! AND I go to the gym (also a first) almost every day! What the F?? I've cut back drinking and started eating better but for some strange strange reason, its much easier to put on the weight than to lose it! But I digress...
Shortly after arriving back home, we transported my Grams up to Gainesville to stay at my mom's. While I had an apartment elsewhere with Chris and my roommate, Stefy, I spent most to all of my time at my mamma's taking care of Grandma. She and I, although suffered our differences, were always extremely close! The only person to have read every page of this blog and beg for more, I'm devastated to say I have lost some viewership. She passed into Heaven or the great who knows where a little over two months ago. We managed to care for her for the very last four months of her life. It was an honor for me. While some days were worse than the others and could be very taxing, I often reminded myself of everything she did for me. Cooking and cutting her lunch, helping her bathe and go to the bathroom, setting her up to brush her teeth, lying with her and comforting her when she felt scared or alone; it's all so bittersweet. I'm so thankful I was able to return only some of what she ever did for me.
When she passed, it didn't hit me for days later. In fact, the two weeks while she rapidly declined, my presents at the house also declined. One, I was needed a lot less with the increased family in attendance and two, it was just to tragic! The day after she died, I was fine...until I went back to my mom's to help pack up her things and clean. Sitting in her room, I became despondent. Helping the Hospice equipment guy clumsily load her deathbed into the back of his rapist van, brought reality crashing on top of me, trapping me between it and the ground until I felt claustrophobic. I finally found an out and left, oh yeah, I had to work.
The next day, my aunt and cousins asked me to help with her obit. Regardless of my reluctance to assistance with such a strange request (I will go into the absurdity of obituaries later), I received an email and was asked to edit and or add. I read, approved and then cried. Not much of a crier, I didn't stop crying for several hours later. I took this opportunity of feelings to write her eulogy (which per her request over a year ago, I write and read at her funeral. Morbid, I know, but what an an honor!) And through the whole process, just when I felt I couldn't feel or cry anymore, Norah Jones would bust out on Pandora and then I would start over. But several pages and hundreds of words later, I had some editing to do. Finally, the eve of her funeral, her eulogy was complete! I wish she could have heard it, cause as my number one fan, she would have loved it!

Okay, more on this later...I gotta ride. Its Taco Tuesday.

Thinking about the idea that the main (if only) person that read this was my Grandma, makes me wonder why I'm writing this. Is there internet in Heaven?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

In this last year...

Well, the rumors are true...I'm a slacker. Its been just over a year since I have submitted my last blog. And a lot has happened. After my last submission, I boarded the next plane to Seoul, Republic of Korea where I was greeted by strangers, American, but strange. Well, first I was greeted by Koreans but an hour long bus ride and panicked moments of searching for a phone, I met my couchsurfing hosts. They were awesome! They took me to have my first Korean meal in months and my first REALLY Korean korean meal! It was fabulous! Then I celebrated my first Canada day which I have to admit was crazy, son! Turned out, my hosts party as much as I do! I lost my beloved havainas by taking them off to get on a table to dance...go figure. However, I managed to find a different pair..same size! I guess the girl that swiped mine also had great taste. The next day, I suffered through a pretty bad hangover while my host went to teach. Later, that night I was met by my best friend, Julia and Tina!! Let me just say, that weekend was epic! Perhaps, at a later date, I will tell my travel stories in detail, but for now...I only give highlights. Left Korea two months later to meet Chris in China. Twas awesome!
I came home Christmas Eve, spent the night with my best friend, Erica, in Orlando. Daddy and Haley picked me up the next day and we went to Daytona. Tragically, my Nana died three days later. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to see her one last time and tell her I love her and goodbye. I spent the last days of her life with her. The morning she died, I woke up just moments before she took her last breath. I woke up my dad and said, "Dad, its time..." We, plus my aunt, held her hands and comforted her as she headed toward the light or whatever it is we see when we die.
After we got everything taken care of there, we went to my other grandma's. She greeted me in tears and was sooo happy I was home! I was so happy to see her as well. Especially since her health was declining...ta de shenti bu hao....okay, I have to run...to be continued! I promise!